Spit Out the Bones

Big Mama’s kitchen was small enough that she could reach the stove from her chair by the window, if she really stretched. The oven timer near the counter screamed until she walked in to turn it off. As soon as Serena heard her crank up the 227 chatter on the tiny television, she knew she would pour a glass of aloe vera juice and pull out a chair for her, expectant. She had been asking her grandmother about love all morning, which she now realized was a mistake.

‘Why you wanna know about love, anyhow’, Big Mama asked as Serena entered.  She knew she couldn’t talk about Jared without making her grandmother upset. So, she flipped it, saying that Big Mama seemed to never really love anyone. From the window, the neighborhood handyman, Jeff began laughing, confirming. It was true, he said, she ain’t never been in love. Big Mama yelled down at him about sneaking into her backyard to do work that she didn’t need and was never going to pay him for.

Serena admitted that she was afraid that she wasn't good at whatever love was. Big Mama patted her hand and turned the TV down, told her to grab the brine from the ‘frigerator. She grabbed a huge pot and dipped her finger in, questioning why they soaked their chicken in so much sugar, given Big Mama’s health. But Big Mama told her that her diabetes and her brine were none of her concern.

Big Mama grabbed the chicken, set aside two prep bowls, and told Serena the problem was she was too light, that there was no real weight to her, no heaviness. Then, she shared her recipe rhythm: Serena, make sure you go dry to wet. Dry to wet. Like a woman needs. 

That didn’t seem quite right, but Serena took out one piece and lightly dipped it in the flour anyhow. Big Mama told her that was too light, that people had to know who you were deep down in your bones. So, Serena grabbed another piece and covered it completely, massaging it with both of her hands. Everybody gotta eat, Big Mama said, people always come back when they feel like they could be covered in love.

I have to put my whole self into love, Serena replied. Big Mama rolled her eyes: you too young for lovin’ anyhow, too skinny to be concerned, thin as a rail like you are. Serena answered that people need rails to hold on to. Yes, Big Mama said, but don’t nobody wanna  bump into one in the middle of the night.

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Did Great Gran teach you to cook like this, Serena asked. Big Mama smiled, no, she said softly, my man did. Serena asked where Grandpa Richie learned, but Big Mama corrected her, not your Grandpa Richie, chile. Carl. From outside, Jeff laughed. Her grandmother had cheated? When Serena asked if Grandpa knew, Jeff’s voice rang out again, confirming he had known and that it had given him a heart attack. Big Mama slammed the kitchen window.

The doorbell rang, but Jeff soon walked in without an invitation, who claimed he had finished cutting the grass. Big Mama reminded him about leaving her keys under the mat whenever he was done working, suddenly smiling, telling him he wasn’t worth nothing. From the corner of her eye, Serena saw her wink at him, watching him turn and walk out of the —wait. Was he going to Big Mama’s bedroom?

Panicking, Serena asked if they should finish cooking the chicken, but Big Mama told her she hadn't been listening anyway, soon closing the bedroom door behind her. Serena threw up in her mouth a little as sounds of passion began flowing into the kitchen. As she quickly wondered how soon she could be anywhere else, Nedra, the neighborhood’s kid, walked through the back gate, yelling up to the kitchen window, I heard Ms. Mary making her nasty sweet tea chicken! It’s like chewing rocks! But, Serena told her she was actually making it this time, if she wanted to come back in an hour or two.

As the bedroom sounds grew louder, Serena felt around for the remote, turned up the volume on 227. She planted herself in front of the bowls on the counter. This time, though, she rhythmically moved her hands from wet to dry, brine to flour, coating each piece with the care she chose, deafening all of the noise around and within her.